Seeing Backwards, Building Forwards
Over the past year, I’ve begun to understand something about myself that has shifted everything: the way my brain works.
For most of my life, I assumed I was broken. I struggled in school because the world teaches in straight lines: step one, then step two, then step three. But that never made sense to me. My mind doesn’t start at step one. It sees the finished product first, in full, in color, alive and complete. The end result is clear to me from the beginning. The work is then to move backwards, to trace the roads that lead to that destination.
It clicked for me recently why, during my time studying as a veterinary technician, the two classes I excelled in were Anatomy and Physiology I & II. I didn’t just pass them, I aced them. And now I understand why. In those textbooks, you begin with the finished product, the body in its wholeness, and then peel back the layers and systems, right down to a single molecule. It was a rare moment where the way the material was presented matched the way my brain naturally works. I start with the whole picture and work backward to see what it’s made of.
That’s exactly how I see Thrivewell.
When I say I can see the Estate, I mean it. I can walk through the manor in my mind. I can feel the energy of the sacred grounds. I can hear the voices of community gathered there. It’s already alive within me. The challenge isn’t imagining it, it’s figuring out which spark will become the first flame, which road will actually carry the vision from my head into the world.
This way of seeing can be overwhelming, even frustrating. Sometimes I get insecure, worried that from the outside it looks like I’m scattered, jumping from idea to idea. I’ve even been told I might have ADD or ADHD. But that’s not what’s happening. I have no problem focusing, in fact, these past few months of working on myself so intensely have sharpened that focus in surprising ways. I’ll catch myself listening to music through my headphones, even singing along, while at the same time reading and editing my book with full concentration. My mind isn’t drifting; it’s alive in multiple layers at once, processing and creating with a rhythm that feels natural to me. Combined with my intuition, this rhythm brings a daily stream of downloads, images, ideas, and blueprints of what’s possible. My work is to interpret those downloads and reverse-engineer the first step. It can feel isolating, like I’m the only one who sees it clearly…or believes I can actually do it.
And yet, here’s the irony: while my brain itself does not work in a linear way, I’ve held myself to very linear expectations for my goals. My best friend pointed this out to me recently, and it shocked me. I often expect the journey to unfold in neat lines, milestone after milestone, in order, when in reality my own vision doesn’t operate that way. My path is more spiral than straight line, more unfolding than step-by-step. Realizing this has been both humbling and freeing.
But slowly, the first sparks revealed themselves.
As I’ve mentioned, in 2022, when I was writing Past Life Love, I noticed that the place where my characters met resembled Thrivewell, a space of healing, ritual, and transformation. I didn’t fully recognize it then, but my writing was already building the foundation of this vision. That’s when I realized the Thrivewell Chronicles, my letters, my books, my reflections, are not just side projects. They are the heartbeat of this vision. Writing is something I can do without waiting for an investor, without waiting for a bank loan. It is the most tangible way I can begin, the place where Thrivewell has already lived for years.
Those closest to me have read my novel Past Life Love, and their feedback has been beyond anything I imagined. Sharing my writing is vulnerable, it feels like putting another piece of myself out into the world, but it’s also important. My words are where Thrivewell first began to live, years before I realized what I was building.
Although I have rewritten parts of the book this past year, what you’ll read below are the opening words that started it all. The prologue and first chapter were written before I knew about the Hub, before I knew Thrivewell would become my life’s work. Yet looking back now, I see how the seeds were already planted.
So here I am, offering you not just a vision, but also the story that carried me to it.
Then came the Hub. When the opportunity for a storefront opened, I understood it as the preview the world needed, a first doorway into the larger estate. The Hub makes Thrivewell accessible now, not years from now. It’s also the way I can become my own investor, generating momentum and resources to build toward the larger vision.
From the outside, these might look like separate projects: a book here, a storefront there, whispers about an estate someday. But in truth, they’re all branches of the same tree, sparks from the same fire. The Estate remains the horizon point, the finished picture that’s always been clear in my mind. But the Chronicles and the Hub are the necessary roads that lead us there.
I won’t pretend this way of seeing is easy. Some days the weight of it feels immense. To see the entire vision and yet know how long and winding the road is, it can feel like holding both beauty and burden at the same time. The pressure to handle it with grace, to not burn out before it’s real, is something I carry daily. But even in the overwhelm, I am determined.
Because here’s what I know: every step, every spark, every flame, brings me closer. Every chapter, every storefront window, every blueprint is part of the same unfolding story.
And I want people to understand two things:
This is all the same vision. Different branches, yes, but one dream. Thrivewell is not scattered, it is simply vast. It is meant to reach people through many doorways.
Anything is possible if you are willing to do two things: the work, and believe in magic.
So when you see me writing letters, publishing books, opening a Hub, or speaking about an Estate that does not yet exist, know that none of it is random. This is how my brain works: I begin with the ending alive in my mind, and then I work backwards until I find the first flame that can carry the spark forward.
And right now, those flames are the Chronicles and the Hub.
One dream. One heartbeat. One story called Thrivewell.
And it is still unfolding.
With gratitude,
Kelley